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Uproot the Bush

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Vote: The Choice is Obvious

In every issue of my email newsletter, I have been providing a solid reason not to vote for Dubya in the upcoming election. This is the 19th and final such installment. Look, we deserve better than Bush. He's given us a thousand opportunities to see that. While Kerry fought in Vietnam, Bush bailed on the Guard. While Kerry served 20 years in the Senate, Bush spent 20 doing alcohol and coke. He's a horrible businessman, an average baseball manager, an electric-chair-happy governor and a religious fanatic. Yes, fanatic. He believes that an any given moment, he and a few million people will be saved moments before god wreaks horrible vengeance on the Earth. He will just disappear, but his bling will stay behind. Let's face it. He should never have become president, but we here in America don't like to ruffle feathers, so we sat back, relaxed and thought it didn't really matter who held the top job. We could not have asked for a more corrupt ascendency to power, But, he's likeable. Well, so is Suge Knight, but we don't feel comfortable giving him the keys to the Situation Room. Bush's first term has been almost all bad. For kids, women, soldiers and trees. And he was pretty gangsta about it all the while: Halliburton? We ok'ed it. Enron and Ken Lay (his biggest contributor)? We said "no prob." Asleep on terror for the first nine months on the job? Cool. Drilling for oil that will have NO effect on supply and prices but destroy irreplaceble habitats? Bring it on. Oh, and Iraq was just him shooting the moon. WMD, Al Qaeda connection? Nope, but it's cool. And the Orwellian kicker? His biggest failure is somehow perceived as his biggest strength: 9/11. Osama's alive and looking well. Our democracy is not nearly as lucky. His propaganda machine is so good, I'm sure the Chinese Communist Party is taking extensive notes. There's only one group of people that sucks more than those who support Bush, and that group is us, because we let it happen. Now please go vote, so I don't have to kill you

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