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Video MoJos! #001

If you can't see the embedded video in your reader, head over to YouTube here.

Update: You may notice that the video above is no longer available. This is not an accident. This was a comedic content experiment. The experiment has failed. That thing sucked. Just look at the pained expression on my face. Come on now! Back to the drawing board folks. I promise new experiments in the future, and I promise to shove them down the memory hole if they fail.

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Some new MoJos for ya!

After Apple opened its iTunes movie store with Disney Studios, other studios wanted to join in. However, Wal-Mart threatened those studios: "if you sell with Apple, we won't sell your DVDs anymore." Yes, Wa-Mart thinks it will lose its customers to a digital download service. Do they know who their customers ARE??? They should be more worried about their customers gnawing on the DVD packaging in the store California has sued automakers for global warming. I plan to sue California for reality television. Six Flags is offering unlimited line-jumping for customers who eat a roach. It's a lot like Hollywood, where you of offered a movie deal if you eat a dick. After years of posting it at football games and other public events, the Evangelical Committee on Cultural Propaganda has declared "John 3:16" the official gang sign of the born again. A 3-year old girl in Minneapolis was hospitalized for drunkenness. Doctors warned, "she could have easily died." But I say, look how good Lindsay Lohan turned out. This kid's gonna be ok! MySpace will start a voter registration drive, targetting its millions of young members. Unfortunately, most kids will waste their votes on "Dane Cook for President." French doctors have successfully operated on a man in near-zero gravity. That's great. We have 44 million uninsured Americans, and the French want to rub our noses in thier socialized "space medicine." Saudi Arabia is planning to build a fence along its border with Iraq. They don't get it. Iraqi immigrants are simply willing to do the jobs Saudis won't: that is, blow themselves up. A 73 year old used car salesman in Texas ended an argument with a customer by pulling out a machete and whacking the man's arm. He normally uses the machete to slash prices, but sometimes the customer isn't always right. An Australian man who says the recently killed "Crocodile Hunter" shaped his love of reptiles, says he plans to feed the placenta of his newborn son to his pet lizard. That's just what we need: reptiles with a taste for baby humans. A 3 year old boy bought a $16,000 dollar Barbie-Pink Nissan off of eBay this week. Apparently he was trying to get to Minneapolis and hook up with that drunk girl. Finally... Al Qaeda's number 2, Ayman al-Zawahiri announced plans to release a video message about the Pope, Bush and Sudan's Darfur region. He had planned to release via Apple's movie download service, but changed his mind after learning his distribution deal with Wal-Mart would be cancelled

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Special Release: Baratunde to be on "TV"!!!

(note, the show can accept video callers, so if you have a webcam, holla at me!)

Innovative Online Interactive "TV" Show Features Up-and-Coming Comedian and Author, Baratunde Thurston

ONLINE ­- On Saturday September 30th, 2006 at 1pm EDT (10am PDT, 5pm GMT) tune in to SMT TV(TM), an innovative online interactive TV show at www.sweetmother.org. SMT TV(TM) will be the first program to use new online tools that give Podcasters the ability to interact with online viewers via live video. SMT-TV™ features online video products from SMT Interactive, a new media company building tools to power the next generation of independent media.

On September 30th SMT TV™ will feature comedian, author, and self-described vigilante pundit Baratunde Thurston. Joining the ranks of Al Franken and Jon Stewart, Baratunde takes his audiences on a journey through the absurd world of American politics, media, and pop culture, having turned his astute political awareness into a rising career in sharp and entertaining comedy where nothing is sacred. As an author, Baratunde was featured in author series that included Cornell West and Howard Zinn, and as a performer has shared the club stage from LA to New York with Dane Cook, Tony V, and Gary Gulman and even became a political satire commentator on Boston’s Fox 25 News. Baratunde is not just an alternative to mainstream media, he’s an antidote.

Join award-winning musician, actor and public speaker Derrick N. Ashong (aka DNA) on Saturday, September 30th at 1pm EDT (10am PDT, 5pm GMT) as he hosts SMT TV(TM) featuring hilarious comic and author Baratunde Thurston.

In partnership with MidNet Inc. and Heart in Action Ent, SMT Interactive, a company pioneering the next generation of independent media, has held live virtual conferences connecting youth from across Africa, Europe, N. America and Latin America to world leaders such as renowned spiritualist and President of the Alliance for a New Humanity Deepak Chopra, Grammy-winning producer Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics, former US Ambassador to Nigeria Walter Carrington, and former Clinton advisor John Prendergast. SMT Interactive has been a leader in leveraging high quality, affordable online video-telephony to bridge the digital divide.

For more information on being a guest on SMT TV(TM), hosting your own SMT-TV™ show, or on SMT Interactive contact Kelley Johnson at kelley@sweetmother.org, 617-492-3673. For outlets in Canada contact Ashie Hirji at ashie@heartinaction.com, 604-609-6188. For more information on Baratunde visit www.baratunde.com <http://www.baratunde.com> .

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Milestone!!! A New York club just PAID me to perform

Ok wow.

I just did a 12 minute set at the new Gotham Comedy Club on the main stage. It was a late night show, emceed by Carol Montgomery and featuring Judah Freidlander, Leighann Lord, Rick Overton and more. And me!!! Tiny crowd, but the show didn't start till 12:45am, so whatever.

I GOT PAID BY A MAJOR NEW YORK COMEDY CLUB!!!!!

Also, if you live in NYC or will visit, two shows to see:

- Comedy is for Humans (standup show where comics get 20-25 mins)
- Sweet Paprika (standup show. lots of fun)
- TJ and Dave!!!!!!!!

This last show is a MUST SEE. Too bad the link to the theatre doesn't actually say what the show is, but go to buy tickets. Trust me. Buy the tickets. TJ and Dave is a two man improv show that I saw FOUR TIMES in Chicago this summer. Best stage entertainment I've ever seen in my life.

Ok, that's all. I got paid by a comedy club in NYC. That's hot.

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NewsPhlash September 15: podcast is back; comedy central audition in boston

new york city in two words photo by me via Flickr (inside New York's subway). click for detail here's with the shortness of the newsphlashiness for you fans of baratunde thurston 1. Season Three of The Front Porch Podcast is gearing up. check out www.frontporchpodcast.com to hear my birthday episode this week 2. i'm still in New York for the Underground Comedy Fest. so far, i've done five shows with one more late night saturday. it's been a great trip. dare i say i like new york. forgive me mayor menino. 3. BACK TO BOSTON for my homeys (really, cause you live near my home) I'm returning to Boston next week you can see me all week

***** COMEDY CENTRAL AUDITION ****** SUNDAY @ 8pm if you keep beating yourself up for not seeing me live, not buying my books, not buying my shirts and general being a troop-hating disengaged fan, THIS IS THE SHOW TO SEE. 8pm comedy studio @ the hong kong in harvard square ONLY $8!!!! THURSDAY @ 8pm the comedy studio @ the kong in harvard sq FRIDAY & SATURDAY 10pm jimmy tingle's off broadway in davis square see www.baratunde.com or www.myspace.com/baratunde for details peacepeace oh, and buy some cool t-shirts www.goodstorm.com/stores/baratunde

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Oh my god, the terrorists REALLY have won

, originally uploaded by Von Hutchins.

Just got a call from the comedy festival folks again. They had to cancel my Gotham show too! Turns out even Caroline's in Times Square only has NINE reservations for the night. Way to go, media. Thanks for scaring the bejesus out of people with this five year anniversary b.s. Damn! I had some GREAT material ready too.

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the terrorists have won (and how you benefit)

So I just got a call from the head of the NY Underground Comedy Fest, and my second show tonight (a 9/11 fundraiser) has been cancelled due to people's unwillingess to go out. That's right. The terrorists have won. This morning, my birthday btw, I turned on Fox News for three hours (you know, to get the celebratory mood going early). Donald Rumsfeld somehow fixed his face to say that "the terrorists want to change the American way of life. well not on our watch!" Really? Because it's my understanding that the American way of life includes seeing comedy shows, traveling with toothpaste and living with the assumption that the government isn't eavesdropping on our phone calls. Seeing as all that isn't true, seems to me the terrorists are doing pretty damn good. Consolation prize for my NYC fans. I'm performing at 7:30pm in the Next Wave show at Gotham Comedy Club 208 W 23rd St i get FIVE COMP tickets, so you only have to cover the two drink minimum. get at me on my cell phone if you have the number or comedy@baratunde.com or comment on this post. I'll be checking for the next hour or so at least

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NewsPhlash September 8, 2006 (my bday is Sept 11)

For those of you who haven't seen the joke, it's true. I was born on 9/11:

That gives you all several hours to work out a gift for me. I'm thinking an end to the Global Islamofascists is in order, huh?! No really, this is your NewsPhlash for the week.

HOW CAN YOU CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY??

gifts. simple. gifts. Not to me. No, here's how it works. On 9/11, I want you to get someone else a gift. How does that help me? Because you're going to get them one of my t-shirts! Check out my increasing selection at

www.goodstorm.com/stores/baratunde

and now for the news...

BARATUNDE INVADES THE NEW YORK UNDERGROUND COMEDY FESTIVAL

I missed the deadline for the Boston Comedy Festival. How lame is that? My own town's comedy fest is going on right now, and I won't be performing. Well, it's all good because I have no less that five gigs in the Big Apple this upcoming week as part of the New York Underground Comedy Festival, including two on my birthday yall! What a way to celebrate. Check em out, and roll out to support your boy!


Sunday September 10th

Comedy Fights Cancer
at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center
4pm, for patients


Monday September 11th

The Next Wave Show
Gotham Comedy Club
7:30pm, $10 + 2 drinks

A Tribute to NYC's Bravest (9/11 Charity)
The Laugh Lounge
9pm, $10 + 2 drinks


I may be in the mood to gather with folks somewhere and celebrate. holla if you wanna kick it on the lower east side near the Laugh Lounge!!

Tuesday September 12th

I am not performing on Tuesday, but my good friend and fellow Boston comic Myq Kaplan is auditioning for Letterman. You should see the show. Myq is great and I'm sure the other comics are too. 10pm, Gotham Comedy Club. See Myq's site for more details

Thursday September 14th

The Next Wave
Gotham Comedy Club downstairs Vintage Lounge
6:30pm, $10 + 2 drinks

Saturday September 16th
(ok it's really eeeearly sunday morning, but that's sat night)

The Pajama Show, with the ladies of HotBox Comedy
yes, i perform in my pajamas with hot ladies.
The New York Improv
1am

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