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Obama's Blackness

photo by FUNKYAH via Flickr

I'm having a hard time with all this talk of Obama not being black enough. There are many stories and blogs I could link to, but enough is enough. Here's the deal. The mainline story goes like this:

Black people don't consider Obama black enough because of his heritage (actual African + white). He's an unknown quantity and didn't come up in the civil rights movement, etc.

That's nonsense. Black people embrace all sorts of shady black characters depending on the context.

  • We embraced OJ Simpson after he killed his damn wife
  • We embraced R. Kelly after he peed on a child and video taped it
  • We embraced Bill Clinton and actually had the nerve to call that white dude the "first black president" but only after he cheated on his wife

No, black voters haven't quite signed up for Team Obama because more than anyone else, they know America can't handle a black president. Hell, America can't handle black people in horror movies. We're still the first to die!

America doesn't know how to deal with a black clubgoer. America shoots these black people 50 times!

America even has trouble with fictional black presidents. On 24 they tried to kill President James David Palmer three times and finally succeeded on the fourth attempt when he wasn't even president anymore! Why would you write that into a script? I can imagine the writer's group:

"I don't know. He's not president anymore. What's the point of killing him?"
"Well he's still black right?"
"True, cap that fool."

Then, get this, Palmer's brother Wayne becomes president. Yes, we now have Brotha President. And you know what? They try to kill him too. America is sending a very clear message: yes, there can be a Black president, but we're gonna kill him.

Maybe Black america just prefers a living senator to a dead president.

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[NP] Three Women; Three Shows; and more!

photo via drp on Flickr Well, howdy hi there NewsPhlashers, We've got four things to cover in this week's issue 1. My triple-header weekend in New York and Boston 2. Recommended books by some talented friends 3. Finally, you can read about my Jetbooo experience 4. What happens when you criticize Apple on your blog? (and other highlights) 1. Triple Header Weekend Thursday March 1, 2007 (NEW YORK CITY) I'll be opening for noted musical political satirist Roy Zimmerman Cornelia Street Cafe, Greenwich Village 29 Cornelia St, near W 4th subway 8:30pm, $10 cover, 1 drink minimum host: John Morrison food and venue: incredible. come early, and eat. Friday & Saturday March 2 & 3 (BOSTON) I'll be doing sets at The Comedy Studio 1238 Mass. Ave, Harvard Sq. 8pm, $12 cover See all my show details on my website. 2. Recommended books by some talented friends (as promised) I really do consider myself fortunate to have some incredible friends and talented ones at that. Within a week, I found out about three new books by some incredible women. In all cases, these are their literary debuts. I've set up a special Amazon store where you can buy all three. I really expect you to spend money. I'm always asking you to give me money, well now give unto others. Below are my short reviews, in order of title length The Golden Road, Notes on My Gentrification by Caille Millner I haven't read a book this fast in a long time. It took me two days to knock this out, and it's still got me thinking. I've known Caille as a writer for a long time, but this memoir is more than I expected. It's a thoughtful, engaging, hilarious and beautifully worded mixture of self-reflection, character portraits and global observations on race, plus a few more things. The words "voice of a new generation" are often prematurely used, but in this case, they perfectly describe Caille's life and storytelling. You won't believe it's all non-fiction. Girl Most Likely To by Poonam Sharma Poonam could be a comedian, and coming from a comedian, you should take my words seriously. This book is damn funny and smart. I suppose it's technically "chic lit," but don't let the genre fool you if your image is one of trite predictability. Girl Most Likely To follows the journey of an on-paper successful, nearly 30, Indian-American, professional woman in New York. There's love and loss and office drama and an ulcer named Fred. Yes, there's an ulcer named Fred. Overture by Yael Goldstein Overture is a beautiful novel. It's a story of mother-daughter relationships. It's a story of music. It's a story of just what it is we mean by art and the duties of those who practice it. I found myself emotionally involved in this book. I was angry at characters. I was cheering for others. Yael paints the life of Tasha Darsky, a world-renowned violinist around whom the story is wrapped, with amazing maturity. I can't wait to read more of her work. 3. Finally, you can read about my Jetbooo experience You got my snippets during the event itself, and last week I promised a complete re-telling. Today, I'm happy to announce the publication of my Weekly Dig column, and it's title: JetBoooooo 4. What happens when you criticize Apple on your blog (and other highlights) I'm basically an Apple fan, but I've long since abandoned the religious fervor with which many Mac users treat the company. After several busted products, crashing systems and other hiccups, the last thing I want to see is one of those smug little "I'm a Mac" commercials which claim that the machines "just work." I said as much in an frustrated 2am post on my blog this weekend, and attracted over 1,000 visitors to my site in two days. That's 10 times my normal traffic. These people were like some kind of Midnight Mac Marauders, raiding my server, leaving ridiculous comments and accusing me of heresy. Example: "Who the hell are you? What makes you qualified to criticize Apple?" Being who I am, and trained in the martial art of email and Internet forum battles, I threw down. Watch me Stomp the Blog in Apple Fans Are Racists and Rapists other notable pieces from the past week include Can I request to be Overbooked The conclusion of podcasts on "How to Celebrate Black History Month for Those Who Aren't Black" and Mitt Romney is Campaigning Against France

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Mitt Romney is Campaigning Against France

Romney to Run Against France Image via Flickr. Originally from The Boston Globe. Click for more info. Today the Boston Globe reported on an internal strategy memo leaked by former Mass. Gov. Mitt Romney's campaign. It sounds pretty interesting, but I don't want to get into all that. Just two things. First, I just found the closing lines of the article are incredible:
Like every Republican in the race, Romney faces the delicate task of how to talk about President Bush, whom the country gives low job-approval ratings . But the plan lists two ways Romney can set himself apart from Bush. The first says, simply, "Intelligence."
That's messed up. Your own party is calling you a dumbass. Still, how much you wanna bet that the second point listed is also "intelligence"? Second, look at that image of the slide above. This dude is running against France? Really?? Are you serious?? I stay pretty informed on political things, and I know there are a lot of folks in the campaign, but I had no idea France was running for US president. In their favor, they could have the best slogan ever. Vote Freedom for President.

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