EDIT: I am an idiot. The Boston MBTA has the same service. It's not quite as accessible, but it's linked from the front page. I wanted so bad to have another reason to hate Boston. Dammmmmmn Giiiinaaaa.. Alright, so I'm from DC originally but have been living up Boston way for almost ten years now. DC's metrorail service is, quite simply, the shit, but I've just found something that proves how badass the joint really is. A Trip Planner. I didn't realize this till I had a few experiences on Boston's MBTA. DC metro has carpet, and the ride is smooth, and the trains are quiet so you can hear the voices in your head really clearly. Boston's trains come when they want to, and they're loud, and the Green Line is so bad they should just shut it down and let people walk on the tracks. But I just got this email from my girlfriend. She's going to DC and won't have her car. This is what the DC metro website did for her:

you type in where you're at, & where you wanna go, and it tells you what the closest stations are on either side AND how to walk to/from there. (and it integrates the rail line with the bus line) THAT IS AMAZING. I'm so sick of using the addresses of stations and trying to triangulate my route

Anyone who's ever used public transport knows you need a medicine man to figure out the best route, especially when you've got buses and trains to deal with. You've got to take into account preference for bus or train, time and cost. And it's even worse if you're not intimately familiar with a city's layout. You don't know exactly where the bus stop is or exactly where the train station is. Some cities don't even tell you where the stations are (for fear that you might blow them up out of frustration, I guess), and though there's good mapping software out there, it doesn't have everything. I'm so damn anal that when I was planning to move within Boston a few years ago, I used Microsoft Streets & Trips to overlay key bus and train routes through the neighborhoods I was searching. That way I could see how close a prospective apartment was to transport options. Anyway, I tested out the DC Metro Trip Finder thingamagiggy, and it's hot. You tell it if you want to save time or money or if you prefer bus, train or both. You tell it where you are and where you want to go. It does the rest. Here's the route from my former home in Takoma Park to my old high school, Sidwell Friends. I made this trip every day for five years, and didn't know about some of the options I had. This is just tight. Apparently the system is pretty new, having been unveiled in the past month as part of the WMATA (Washington Metro Area Transit Authority) website redesign. A Maryland-based company called TeraTech is responsible. I just hope they don't stop improving it. Now that they have different routes to connect any two points, they need to have an option to display this on a map (with time stamps at each transfer) and let you print it. Please TeraTech, I'm begging. Get up to Boston. Seriously, every city with public transportation needs to sign up with to get this system in place. It's just so damn good!

Yo this is ridiculous. I waited at a Boston train station for about an hour this morning. Walking would actually have been faster. The only reason I made it out at all was I think I trampled some woman. Sorry, that's just evolution kicking in... old lady. I'm not the only one who was stranded at Central Square this morning, and the irony of it is:

• I was much earlier than I normally am. I don't work in an office on a regular basis, and with my club-bouncing, stand-up comedying, new PowerMac owning-lifestyle, I tend to keep hours and don't leave home until a bit after 9am. But today was different. I had a doctor's appointment and left my crib at about 8:10, gaining an hour I'd only lose waiting for the train.
• I feel like I was having a Clerk's moment. I WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. I had thought about taking the hour-long walk to the doctor's office, but would have been horribly late. As things turned out, I was worse off in both time and money with the T.

You could tell there was a problem just getting into the station. People were stacked about five deep back from the yellow line. I rolled to the very front in hopes of getting on one of the less crowded cars, but when the train came through, it was packed like a cargo container full of Eastern European hookers (not that I know anything about that). I didn't have a chance of getting on. I saw my co-worker, and he did a last minute slip through the door. Smooooooth. Bastard. In an effort to reduce the crushing stampede of office workers desparate to return to their cubicles, the train's announcer said, "There's a local service train directly behind this one, so please step back from the yellow line." What a receptacle of bovine excrement that was! Twenty minutes later that local train came rolling through just as packed as the train before. This time, I nudged my way to within one person of getting on the train, but when the doors opened, only one worked. Maybe five people got on, and I was left behind again as the woman in front of me decided not to shove aside the elderly man. Goody too-shoes. 15-20 minutes after that, the third train came through. At this point, I had lost all of my hometraining and "civilization." I wanted on the train. I was going to be more than an hour late for my doctor's appointment and really had no patience left. The announcer again promised there was a train directly behind this one, but I new she would say anything to get us behind the yellow line. I'm surprised they don't just say, "Attention passengers, there is a dirty bomb on this train. Please step back from the yellow line to avoid radiation poisoning." I bolted to the front as soon as the door opened, cutting in front of many people and caring not one bit. I think someone yelled at me, but I was listening to my iPod. The song: GrandMaster Flash, "Don't Push Me Cause I'm Close to the Edge." From now on, if I really need to get somewhere fast, I'll do it the old-fashioned way. I'll walk.

I read an amazing thing today. Boston's Big Dig, plagued for years by delays, "cost overruns," general mismanagement and now leaks has outlasted four governors. It's our own little Fidel Castro!

Through four governors and five project heads, for whatever reasons and despite sometimes good intentions, it's been the same: a reluctance, unwillingness, or outright refusal to be candid and forthright with those paying the bills.

from MetroWest Ok, Fidel has outlasted nine US presidents, but still, you see my point. We just can't beat this thing! For any of you who haven't heard of the Big Dig, shame on you! You paid for it, or half at least. It's basically a $14.5 billion dollar tunnel which connects North Boston to South Boston, and the federal government (i.e. you) paid for $8 billion. It's the most expensive public works project in the history of the US., all 48 states. Think of all the marvelous things we've built. The Hoover Dam provides power to 1.3 million residents in three states and stopped the Colorado River, you know, the thing that made the Grand Canyon? It only cost $5 billion in today's dollars. The Brooklyn and Golden Gate bridges combined are less than $1 billion. Even the Lincoln Tunnel, which allows New Jerseyans to pretend they live in New York cost just over $1 billion. But the tunnel from the Fleet Center to South Station cost $15 billion and is friggin leaking!!! Just another in my new series on this blog: bitchin about boston