Jerry Falwell and a bunch of idiots calling themselves moral Christians are protesting Kraft Food's decision to sponsor the Gay Games in Chicago next summer. Here's why that's just so stupid!

A few months ago, I became a dues-paying, card-carrying member of Jerry Falwell's Moral Majority Coalition. No, I didn't lose my ability to think clearly -- I just wanted to see what they were up to. So, now I get weekly emails and a nifty newsletter and awesome decals (my favorite is "I VOTE CHRISTRIAN"). But I think they should offer discounts too, like a free bible every time I write my Senator about "activist judges" or at least 50% off a gallon of kerosene when purchased with a wooden cross.

I bring all this up because it was my membership in the Moral Majority which alerted me to Falwell's' latest attack. He and the people over at the American Family Association are upset that Kraft Foods will be sponsoring the Gay Games in July 2006. They say it's because the after-hours activities are lewd, and they're having all their members call and email the CEO of Kraft threatening to boycott the company.

There are so many things wrong with this, but first let me share some of the email with ya:

Kraft Foods, the maker of “the world’s favorite foods,” has found itself in the middle of a public relations nightmare after its corporate leadership decided to sponsor the Gay Games VII, which will take place in Chicago in July. The Gay Games is an Olympic-style series of events where homosexuals from around the world compete.

But the Gay Games are not just about athletic competition. Today I visited the American Family Association’s website that illustrates some of the after-hours activities that go on during the Gay Games. These photos can be seen at this AFA website: www.afa.net/activism/gaygamesproof.html

PLEASE BE WARNED — these photos contain partial nudity and lewd depictions. But I feel it is important that consumers who purchase Kraft products see what goes on at these Gay Games (billed as “athletic and cultural” events) in order to understand what types of activities Kraft Foods is actually sponsoring.

If one visits the Gay Games website, he will discover more than 70 sponsors of the event. These sponsors are almost exclusively homosexual companies, including PlanetOut.com, Q Television, Pink magazine, Girlfriends magazine, Boi magazine, ChicagoPride.com and a variety of others.

Kraft Foods, owners of Maxwell House coffee, Kool-Aid and Capri Sun drinks, Oscar Mayer meats, Jell-O snacks, Oreo cookies, Nabisco Foods, and many other well-known products, has placed its reputation on the line by choosing to sponsor the Gay Games.

You can read the entire thing here.

So being the good dues-paying member that I am, I decided to write ( rderomedi23@kraft.com) Kraft CEO Roger Deromedi. Here's what I said:

Dear Mr. Deromedi,

I found out that your company is sponsoring the Gay Games olympics and think it's a wonderful idea. I received an email from Jerry Falwell's organization requesting its millions of members protest Kraft's decision on the grounds, not that you were supporting the "games" but rather that you were sponsoring "lewd... after-hours activities."

It's a preposterous accusation and one that plays on people's fears of homosexual activity. It's also completely illogical. If any company which sponsors an event is also "sponsoring" the "after-hours" activities of that event, then we might as well pull the plug on funding the "regular" Olympics (which features significant amounts of "lewd" behavior in the Olympic Village), the US military (whose Tailhook scandal just scratched the surface of rampant sexual harassment, not to mention the scores of documented rapes of US servicewomen in Iraq by their fellow male soldiers) and, of course, no more high school proms (need I explain?).

Please do not be pressured by the unsound and fear-inspired rhetoric of Jerry Falwell and the pseudo-independent drones that count themselves among his loyal followers.

There are still those of us out here who know how to use our brains, so keep the faith.

I'm off to buy some Tang, Toblerone and Tazo Tea.

- Baratunde Thurston

I think that sums up the main problem I had, but their's one more fun point. Kraft Foods operates over 250 brands -- everything from Velveeta and Poly-O String Cheese to Seattle's Best Coffee and Boca Burgers and Oreo Cookies, not to mention Honey Bunches of Oats!

The good news is, with so many Kraft brands to boycott, Falwell's slow-witted followers will be too confused to actually pull it off.