Sen. Joe Lieberman is the Fredo of the Democratic Family. Sen. Majority Leader Harry Reid is from Nevada. He should take Lieberman out for a fishing trip on Lake Mead. I'm just sayin...
This announcement marks the absolute height of my comedy career and one of the true milestones in my life. On November 12, I will join the staff of America’s Finest News Source a/k/a The Onion. I’ll be working full time as Web Editor, a new position combining all of my favorite things.
I’m responsible for web strategy which might include theonion.com, partnerships, new ways of integrating all the pieces of the Onion online (newspaper, radio, video news network, books), etc.
I’ll help determine political coverage online.
I will initiate special pieces for the web.
I’ll be part of the editorial team, helping write headlines and otherwise being funny
Eleven years ago, I started an email newsletter known as NewsPhlash: All the news that’s fit to twist. I pushed fake news as a way of communicating the real news before I even knew The Onion existed. Now I’m getting paid to do it in the defining medium of our time with creative people I respect and admire. This is a dream come true.
Thank all of you for all the support over all these years. I will continue to rely on you in this new adventure and beyond.
And now for the obligatory, FAQ.
WHERE WILL YOU BE WORKING? At the Onion’s offices in SoHo, NYC
WAIT, IS THIS WHY YOU MOVED TO NEW YORK? No. I had no idea about this job when I moved to NYC. Sometime this past July in Boston, I had a dream that I met my spirit animal. It was a rat. It was a clear sign that I should move to the Big Apple
WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TO THE ONE MAN MEDIA EMPIRE YOU’VE BEEN BUILDING AS A COMEDIAN, AUTHOR AND VIGILANTE PUNDIT? I plan to continue using my own voice to maintain the Baratunde enterprise. This means I’ll keep doing standup and blogging for Jack & Jill Politics, my own site and occasionally Huffington Post, plus writing for The Weekly Dig. I also plan to continue contributing actively to The Black Comedy Project. In the interest of me and the Onion, my own comedy will actually stay very independent of whatever the Onion does.
WHERE AND WHEN CAN WE BUY YOU A DRINK? In the next two days, I’m going to the New York and Boston CD release parties for singer/songwriter Mieka Pauley. I accept congratulations in the form of caipirinhas, white wine and Lindeman’s Framboise belgian beer. Handshakes and hugs will be accepted from those without the financial resources to supply spirits.
Thursday November 1, 2007 @ 8PM
Living Room
154 Ludlow St
212-533-7235
w/ Harriet Street and Dwight & Nicole
$5 // 21+
Friday November 2, 2007 @ 10PM
Johnny D’s
17 Holland St (Davis Sq)
617-776-2004
w/ Bronze Radio Return & Emilia Dahlin
$10 // 21+
Today I got rid of a car that has been in the family since 1994. “T1″ as it was affectionately know served the Thurston clan well, but it’s time to go
This 1991 trooper has climbed the mountains of Colorado, endured the deserts of Texas, trudged through the winters of new york state, western Pennsylvania and central Michigan.
It met its match in Manhattan’s alternate side parking. Hey I think I just found my column topic
tonight, Wednesday October 24 - LAUGHING LIBERALLY LAB
The Tank, 179 Church St b/w Franklin & White
http://www.laughingliberally.com
8pm. only $5 I have TWO FREE COMPS (reply if you want them)
tomorrow, Thursday October 25 - DON’T TOUCH THE FOOT
I host this show almost every Thursday
The Sage Theatre, 711 7th Ave b/w 47th & 48th
10pm, $10 and no drink min
show happens NEXT THURSDAY as well
saturday October 27 with singer/songwriter Mieka Pauley
Radio Bean in BURLINGTON VERMONT
8 N Winooski Ave 802-660-9346
9pm FREE
ANNOUNCEMENTS
- I have joined forces with some incredible comedians as we attempt to redefine or expand the definition of Black comedy beyond Comic View-ish acts. It’s a real privilege to be joining up with folks like Elon James White, Baron Vaughn, Hannibal (yes, HANNIBAL) and others. We’re all different shades of black, and we’re excited about the project, which is an attempt to push an ongoing discussion of what black comedy is and highlight where you can find it. Check us out
- i made it to the semi-finals of the Boston Comedy Festival, my best showing ever. it was fun
- This past Monday I was interviewed on the BBC World Service, broadcast around the globe. Check it out
http://baratunde.com/blog/archives/2007/10/baratunde_makes_bbc_debut.html
- This Fri/Sat I’ll be in Boston for part of Podcamp Boston. Holla if you’re gonna be there
WRITINGS
- Escape from the T, my Weekly Dig Column this week
http://baratunde.com/blog/archives/2007/10/escape_from_the_t_weekly_dig.html
- Tis the Season to Claim Black Inferiority
http://baratunde.com/blog/archives/2007/10/tis_the_season_to_claim_black_inferiority.html
This past Monday, show producers of global call-in show “World Have Your Say” on BBC World Service contacted Jack & Jill Politics, inviting us to comment on the James Watson story. Jill and I both wrote about the nutty professor last week.
The show was broadcast live, worldwide (except for Africa) from 1pm-2pm eastern time this past Monday. I managed to get about 40 seconds in at the very end of the show (minute 51). There was a second broadcast starting at 2pm (covering the African continent) in which I was able to comment a bit more at length. However, there is no online version available for the 2pm show.
What was most troubling about some comments made on the show were people who insisted that “scientists should have a right to ask the question ‘are black people less intelligent?’” It became less about Watson and more about so-called academic freedom and free speech. I maintain that such “freedom” is really a smokescreen for pursuing harmful, discriminatory and racist policies.
The points I tried to make in both shows:
The Dr. is beyond the science completely. There’s no scientific definition of race and no scientific consensus for a measure of intelligence. He’s wrong on both sides of his statement
Unsubstantiated statements have no place in this discussion and no bearing on the real world. I happen to believe a good test for witchcraft is whether or not a woman floats when tossed into a lake. Should my concept be seriously considered??
As a Nobel prize-winning doctor, Watson’s statements get more attention and credibility than they deserve. He may have a theoretical right to say what he wants, but he does not have a right to spread bad science
Whenever inflammatory situations like these arise, we are always tempted to focus on the white man who said the bad thing. This is misguided, because we forget the victims. Dr. Watson may be a crazy old man, but his words cause real harm to black people around the world. He provides aid and comfort to those who seek to dehumanize black people and will use his statements to justify their own prejudices and unequal treatment.
Here we go again. There is always some so-called scientist looking for support for their little racist perspective on the world. Such bad science was behind “eugenics” and countless other attempts to dehumanize black people. If we can prove black folks aren’t as intelligent, then we can prove they are less human and thus less deserving of human rights. We can enslave them, deny them justice, etc.
Originally published in the October 24, 2007 edition of Boston’s Weekly Dig
This column is about a guy named Bill, a hero whose story has never been told in print.
On Friday, October 5th — a polar ice-meltingly hot day — Bill left his Central Square office at 5pm and boarded the first car on the inbound Red Line. The train stopped on the Longfellow Bridge, between Kendall and Charles/MGH.
The operator explained that there was traffic ahead, and that they would be moving shortly. Minutes passed with no movement. Then she explained that there was a fire at Park Street. In the distance, helicopters hovered in the general area of Park Street, but there was no plume of smoke that might have explained why this train could not move.
It was getting late. It was getting hot. People were getting irritable. A female passenger used the intercom to ask for the air conditioning to be turned on.
“I don’t know if I have the authority to do that,” the operator responded.
More time passed. Tempers, along with the temperature, rose.
After another AC request, the operator claimed, “I don’t have permission from Central Command.” Her own windows were wide open.
Most people grumbled and got even more irritable, but most did nothing. Bill is not most people. Surveying the train car for any opening, Bill and another passenger homed in on the emergency release above the doors at the front of every T car.
They pulled the levers, and the doors opened. Shock and sweet relief poured through the car, along with fresh air.
Bill and two other men jumped four to five feet down from the train, clearing a spiked iron fence and landing in the heavy traffic of Cambridge Street. They crossed and headed into Boston on foot. Then they turned around. Seeing their fellow riders back on the train, the men returned to help.
One blocked traffic while the others helped lift dozens of riders down to street level. Soon, the doors of other cars slid open and passengers helped each other down and across the street. What a scene. Moses would have been proud. Public officials should be ashamed.
“Your work is done here!” boomed an orange-vested MBTA worker from one of the open doorways. The jig was up. As helicopters and state troopers arrived, Bill decided it was a good time to leave. “I’m pretty sure what I did was illegal,” he told me.
How sad is that? Not only did officials refuse to help people, but they stopped people from helping themselves. It’s a lesson we keep learning. That’s why my emergency preparedness kit now includes an innocuous LED display. Whenever I require a rapid response from the government, I’ll just fire that bad boy up. I may get hauled off to jail, but at least I’d have air conditioning.
BARATUNDE THURSTON IS A COMEDIAN AND AUTHOR. HIS COLUMN RUNS BIWEEKLY. YOU HAVE PERMISSION FROM CENTRAL COMMAND TO VISIT BARATUNDE.COM.
If the insightful sociological analysis of Bill O’Reilly wasn’t enough to put you on to the idea that we black people are actually people, I’d like to share two stories I found last week which reinforced this theme in two completely independent spheres.
In “Tyler Perry’s Money Machine,” The Washington Post’s Eugene Robinson wrote about the box office-topping “Why Did I Get Married?”
In his plays and movies, Perry shows African Americans as they . . . well, I was about to say he shows us as we really are, but that’s not true. Reality is for documentaries; Perry’s characters are unsubtle, his humor is broad, and his plots are soaked with melodrama. Among his big themes are love, fidelity and the importance of family, and his movies usually have religious overtones.
What Perry does is depict black Americans as people relating to other people — not as mere plot devices and not as characters defined solely by how they relate to the white world. The rest of the movie industry would do well to take note.
Thank you so much for saying this! Robinson continues:
In depicting African Americans, mainstream Hollywood still struggles to leave behind the “magic Negro” paradigm — the idea, epitomized by ” Driving Miss Daisy,” that black characters exist solely to teach valuable lessons to white characters. We still don’t get a lot of films in which black characters bestow their moral wisdom on one another. Even in ” The Pursuit of Happyness,” Will Smith’s character was only secondarily a lesson-giver to his son; mostly, his role was to teach and uplift the audience.
There’s nothing wrong with a little inspiration. But African American moviegoers who want to see their own concerns and struggles — their own lives, even if rendered in broad outline — projected at the cineplex still aren’t getting much love from Hollywood.
True dat. We exist for more than the illumination of white America, and we don’t need other people telling us who we are and what our motivations are. This takes me to part two.
In “Clinton-Obama Quandary for Many Black Women,” the New York Times’ Katharine Q. Seelye did one of the most admirable mainstream media stories about black folks and the Democratic field I have seen. She didn’t stoop to reducing black people’s decision-making process to a struggle over the fake-me-out meme of Obama’s vs. Clinton’s “blackness.” She did actual research, and in the process, discovered key differences in the campaigns as well as the complex considerations black women are weighing in deciding who they will support.
Seelye writes about the importance of South Carolina’s black beauty shops to the campaigns and interviews Clara Vereen:
“I’ve got enough black in me to want somebody black to be our president,” she said in her tiny beauty shop, an extension of her home, after a visit from an Obama organizer. “I would love that, but I want to be real, too.”
Part of being real, said Ms. Vereen, whom everyone calls Miss Clara, is worrying that a black president would not be safe.
“I fear that they just would kill him, that he wouldn’t even have a chance,” she said as she styled a customer’s hair with a curling iron. One way to protect him, she suggested, would be not to vote for him.
Think about it. America can’t even handle black people in horror movies. We’re still the first to die.
America doesn’t know how to deal with black club-goers on the night before their weddings. America shoots them 50 times.
America even has trouble with fictional black presidents. On 24, they tried to kill President David Palmer three times. Have you ever seen such murderous determination targeting fictional white presidents? The West Wing’s Jed Bartlet seemed pretty safe. 24 finally did assassinate Palmer—on the fourth attempt, when he wasn’t even president anymore.
And what are folks saying about Hillary?
“We always love Hillary because we love her husband,” Ms. Vereen said. Then she paused. Much of the chitchat in her shop is about whether a woman could or should be president.
“A man is supposed to be the head,” she said. “I feel like the Lord has put man first, and I believe in the Bible.”
<snip>
“Hillary’s husband has a lot of wisdom and knowledge, and that will help her.” This elicited another round of “that’s right, that’s true.”
Thank you Eugene Robinson and Katharine Q. Seelye for treating black folks like the complicated human beings we are.
Just heard about this and want to get out the word.
The Souls of Black Girls is a provocative news documentary that takes a critical look at media images–how they are instituted, established and controlled. The documentary also examines the relationship between the historical and existing media images of women of color and raises the question of whether they may be suffering from a self-image disorder as a result of trying to attain the standards of beauty that are celebrated in media images.
The documentary features candid interviews with young women discussing their self-image and social commentary from Actresses Regina King and Jada Pinkett Smith, PBS Washington Week Moderator Gwen Ifill, Rapper/Political Activist Chuck D, and Cultural Critic Michaela Angela Davis, among others. The Souls of Black Girls is a piece that attempts to provoke honest dialogue and critical thinking among women of color about media images and our present condition—internally and externally.
Saturday
New York - October, 20 2007 - 3:45P Harlem International Film Festival (Schomburg Center) 515 Malcolm X Blvd (Corner of 135th Street) Harlem , New York|33 10037
Los Angeles - October, 20 2007 - 6:00P African American Film Marketplace and the S.E. Manly Short Film Showcase 5300 Melrose Ave Hollywood , CA Cost: 10.00
Sunday
October, 21 2007 - 3:30P African American Film Marketplace and the S.E. Manly Short Film Showcase 5300 Melrose Ave Hollywood , CA
One of the world’s most respected scientists is embroiled in an extraordinary row after claiming that black people are less intelligent than white people. James Watson, a Nobel Prize winner for his part in discovering the structure of DNA, has provoked outrage with his comments, made ahead of his arrival in Britain today.
More fierce criticism of the eminent scientist is expected as he embarks on a number of engagements to promote a new book ‘Avoid Boring People: Lessons from a Life in Science’. Among his first commitments is a speech to a London audience at the Science Museum on Friday. The event is sold out.
Dr Watson, who runs one of America’s leading scientific research institutions, made the controversial remarks in an interview in The Sunday Times.
The 79-year-old geneticist said he was “inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa” because “all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours - whereas all the testing says not really.”. He said he hoped that everyone was equal, but countered that “people who have to deal with black employees find this not true”.
He says that you should not discriminate on the basis of colour, because “there are many people of colour who are very talented, but don’t promote them when they haven’t succeeded at the lower level”. He writes that “there is no firm reason to anticipate that the intellectual capacities of peoples geographically separated in their evolution should prove to have evolved identically. Our wanting to reserve equal powers of reason as some universal heritage of humanity will not be enough to make it so”.
Wow. Don’t you love that scientific method? “People who have to deal with black employees”??? Amazing. Dude is clearly a bit old an no stranger to idiocracy. The same article points out his equally ignorant statements about women and homosexuals:
Watson is no stranger to controversy. He has been reported in the past saying that a woman should have the right to abort her unborn child if tests could determine it would be homosexual.
In addition, he has suggested a link between skin colour and sex drive, proposing a theory that black people have higher libidos.
He also claimed that beauty could be genetically manufactured, saying: “People say it would be terrible if we made all girls pretty. I think it would be great.”
Just got back from a great comedy gig at Keene State in Keen, NH with fellow boston act, Josh Gondelman. Loved the show and the students and had some great improv moments
I almost let this story slip through the cracks and hadn’t seen much coverage here in the Afrosphere outside of JP Smith over at black…MYstory, so here goes. Last Thursday, Obama dropped one hell of an op ed in the Union Leader about the Lieberman-Kyl bill labeling Iran’s Revolutionary Guard as a terrorist organization. Titled “Five years after Iraq war vote, we’re still foolishly rattling our sabers” Obama writes:
an amendment passed last month by the Senate could be used by the President as justification to strike Iran under the authority granted to him by the 2002 Iraq war resolution.
<snip>
Why is this so dangerous? The Bush administration could use language like this to justify a continued troop presence in Iraq as long as it perceives a threat from Iran. Even worse, the Bush administration could use the language in Lieberman-Kyl to justify an attack on Iran as a part of the ongoing war in Iraq.
So far so good. Unfortunately, Obama didn’t make the vote himself as he was campaigning in New Hampshire. His absence is essentially a nay, bit Hillary was present and voted hip hop hooray. Check out another excerpt from Obama’s piece:
I strongly differ with Sen. Hillary Clinton, who was the only Democratic presidential candidate to support this reckless amendment.
<snip>
Sen. Clinton says she was merely voting for more diplomacy, not war with Iran. If this has a familiar ring, it should. Five years after the original vote for war in Iraq, Sen. Clinton has argued that her vote was not for war — it was for diplomacy, or inspections. But all of us knew what the Senate was debating in 2002. John Edwards has renounced his own vote for the war, and he should be applauded for his candor. After all, we didn’t need to authorize a war in order to have United Nations weapons inspections. No one thought Congress was debating diplomacy. No newspaper headlines ran on Oct. 12, 2002, reading, “Congress authorizes diplomacy.” This was a vote to authorize war, and without that vote, there would have been no war.
Booyah! That’s what I’m talkin’ bout. It’s one thing for Obama to continually draw distinctions with Clinton over the 2002 vote and “focus on the past.” It’s another thing entirely to see that him raising that point is still very relevant today and into the future.
After that 2002 vote, I was utterly disappointed in the Democrats for granting Bush any authority whatsoever. Here was a man who was as incompetent as he was illegitimate, and we hand over the keys to the armed forces in a fit of misguided, so-called patriotism. After what we’ve seen go down in Iraq, I figured we would all refuse such acquiescence in the future. I was wrong. I’m especially annoyed with Clinton whose militarism scares me and who should know better the second time around.
I can’t believe I’m about to invoke Nancy Reagan, but in this case, the Dems should have just said, “No.”