My solutions for NASCAR. How to "mix it up"


CONCORD, N.C. -- NASCAR plans to relax some rules this season and encourage drivers to be more aggressive and show more emotion.

NASCAR chairman Brian France says the goal is to "open it up" as an answer to criticism that the sport has grown stale.

Television ratings and attendance have slumped in recent years and NASCAR has held a series of meetings with its competitors to determine how best to improve the sport.

In addition to some internal restructuring and a transition from a wing to a spoiler on the race car, NASCAR will now permit bump-drafting at Daytona and Talladega and more contact on the race track.

France says NASCAR wants the drivers "mixing it up."

Here are some ideas:

- Let fans shoot at the cars
- Add oil slicks and banana peels
- Add black people (as drivers, not obstacles you sickos)
- One car goes the opposite direction
- Night races. No lights. Awesome
- One of the racers is a clown on a unicycle trying to deliver a pizza
- Give the drivers a destination!

Problem solved. Ratings through the roof. You're welcome NASCAR