How do you say "Yes, Massa" in Chinese?


There is much to fear as an American today. The Muslims are out to get us. Mexicans keep sneaking across our borders. The bird flu is coming, and God keeps trying to kill us with his floods. But none of these worry me as much as this headline I saw in the New York Times yesterday: "China Overtakes U.S. as Supplier of Information Technology Goods."

My mom was always interested in learning a Chinese language and tried to come up with ways to visit the country nearly until her last days on this Earth. I always thought she was just intrigued by the people, but the more I think on it, the more I'm sure she was planning to welcome our new overlords in their native tongue when they inevitably take over.

The NY Times article was basically talking about how China has come a long way since it was known as a place to get low-end goods manufactured for cheap:
After almost a decade of explosive growth in its electronics sector, China has overtaken the United States as the world's biggest supplier of information technology goods...

To some industry experts, the report is more evidence that China has made progress in its long-term plan to upgrade the capacity of its manufacturing as it strives to become a major economic power.

Every time I hear a U.S. official talking about China, they refer to it as a big pool full of a billion consumers of American goods, as if the people who invented paper have nothing better to do but anticipate the next Ford Vaporizer SUV. These people will buy stuff, but it's probably going to be stuff they make!

China is developing and making higher quality goods and even getting into the design of products too. They're revamping their education system and are making serious investments in their infrastructure. The government is moving toward political reform, though very slowly. Plus, they're stealing our oil from the Middle East. Yes, our oil. It's not fair. We killed for it. Robber's keepers, losers weepers is what I always say.

But the super scary part isn't all this. It's the damn military. More from the article:
China's military industry works closely with information technology companies and the government's research and development sector in what some analysts have described as a "digital triangle" that supports the country's rapid military modernization.

"The People's Liberation Army is moving very quickly to adopt practically every information-related aspect of military technology that the U.S. is pursuing at this time," said Rick Fisher, vice president of the International Assessment and Strategy Center in Washington.

That's just great. Just perfect. One billion people. They'll be designing and making everything we use. They'll be driving my car. And they won't even speak English!! While we're busy developing the next "male enhancement" drug, China is busy reverse engineering 10 year old computer parts so they can design a space death ray! A death ray!!!

Today, we complain about outsourcing. Tomorrow, young Americans will be rowing banana boats across the Pacific for the privilege of working illegally in China.