[NP] Dispatch from Cheney Country


Dispatch from Cheney Country


1. thanks
2. big shows
3. taking aim at Target
4. mojos are back!

1. thanks

My people. In the wake of my mother's passing, I want to thank you so much for your outpouring of sympathy, love, kind words, flowers, food and Democratic Senators with testicles. It means the world to me. And I'm serious about those Democrats! I'm currently driving back across America in a minivan with my mother's stuff. I'm writing from Cheyenne, Wyoming. It can get a bit sad, so what do you do? My NewsPhlashers somehow convince the Democrats in the Senate to start acting like Senate Democrats and demand accountability for Republican shenanigans. Amazing! I am truly touched by your revolutionary efforts, and my mother would have been proud. Keep it up.

2. big big shows

So, of course when I haven't written or performed in over a month, that's just the time when HBO would call, inviting me to audition for its big Aspen Comedy Festival. That's some flattering stuff. On the call, I was tempted to demand accelerated production of season four of The Wire, but I decided instead to play professional and take the gig. If they like me enough here, I'll get to perform at the premier comedy festival in the country in the Spring. Cross your fingers, and tell your peoples.

Mon Nov 7 05
7pm
Stand-Up NY
236 W. 78th @ B'way
New York, NY
212-595-0850
Door: not sure

When it rains it doth pour. Many of you may remember that I've been doing a lot of political shows called "Lauging Liberally." Well the show is about to get more professional, with national touring and t-shirts! I'm auditioning next week to be part of the main troupe. Same club as the HBO audition but the next night.

Tue Nov 8 05
9pm
Stand-Up NY
236 W. 78th @ B'way
New York, NY
212-595-0850
Door: $10

3. taking aim at Target

Ok, so I've spent a lot of dough at Target. I always considered it a younger, hipper, less evil version of Wal-Mart. Well, that's over. It turns out Target allows its employees to discriminate based on their religious beliefs generally speaking. But worse, it allows its pharmacists to refuse to fill certain prescriptions based on their personal moral objections, mainly contraception -- this from the company that will sell Grand Theft Auto to anyone. Imagine ordering steak at a steakhouse, but the waiter refuses to bring you the meat because he's a vegan! Don't work at the damn steakhouse!

So basically, I'm not shopping at Target anymore, and I hope you won't either.

Read more here:
http://newsphlashers.c.topica.com/maaeaycablJlXa7GVxubaeQAUP/

4. LONG AWAITED MOJOs

Bear with me. I'm a little rusty...


The Pentagon confirmed that Omar al-Farouq, who would have been the first to testify against US military personnel on abuse charges, escaped from the facility in July. It has also just been announced that Scooter Libby, former chief of staff to Dick Cheney, is desperately trying to contact Omar al-Farouq.

In the wake of several White House national security scandals, Democrats forced the Senate into closed session to demand accountability from the Republican-led Congress. Meteorologists have issued frost warnings for Hell.

President Bush has appointed the lead investigator of Iraq's WMD program to look into the federal response to Hurricane Katrina. The results are expected to show that the hurricane was only one of many reasons the government got involved. The main goal was to bring freedom to the Gulf Coast.


Thanks for reading, and thanks for your support.

peace