Republicans make me sick. Really. I'm on drugs now.


So for over the past week I've been in and out of the hospital, brought on by sudden chest pains at the end of the DNC. Coincidence? Hmmm...

They took an EKG (electrocardiogram) and found some abnormal results. I think the docs need a little help in communicating to the patients though. Here's what the ER tech said. "Wow, this looks just like a heart attack, but it's not, and least we don't think so."

Thanks ER guys, now I'll just go ahead and have that heart attack since you just scared the crap out of me! I kid the ER folks, though. They were actually a great bunch.

So after a week and several more EKGs, it's looking like the pericarditis (inflammation of heart lining and NOT heart attack) was caused by a viral infection or maybe pneumonia (aka "P Shitty"). I get to take more drugs and get a cat scan. Woohoo!! I'm finally getting some value for my crazy high insurance premiums!

I do find it odd, however, that the lower Bush's approval ratings, the more sick I get. This has got to be the work of an evil genius.